As a trainer, I get really amazing glimpses into the challenges that many people face while trying to achieve their fitness goals.
One of the biggest obstacles might be the people you associate with: at home, at work, online, the gym, at playdates, and so on. “Saboteurs” lurk at every corner, and sometimes it’s the person you are closest to. For example, a client of mine swears her own mother is attempting to sabotage her successful weight loss. When she visits with family, mom brings out the sweets and junk food for her and her kids. In this case, it seems to be because the weight loss efforts of the mother have failed. For whatever reason, it’s sometimes a person close to you that might be the most unsupportive and at worst, a saboteur.
But you can turn a poor social network into one that spurs positive fitness changes.
Social support can be remarkably powerful. It can do everything from reducing stress (unwinding and venting with your girlfriends over some coffee) to helping you adhere to a diet via group weight loss efforts (e.g., Weight Watchers, various Facebook support groups) or some form of accountability or support (e.g., a paid diet coach). Most sensible diets will work if you stick to the program, and long-term compliance is more important than the diet you end up choosing (e.g., Paleo, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Low-carb, Low-fat, whatever).
Depending on who you pick as friends (real, online, or in the gym) most of us need the support to be successful.
Heck, even an experienced trainer like me will reach out to a trusted friend or coach when I’m frustrated.
If you’re not getting it at home (say, an unsupportive spouse or family member) you might need to look outside your four walls. That might mean sharing your goals with like-minded friends, a gym buddy, a weight loss forum, a diet coach, a personal trainer, your boot camp buddies, and so on.
This is where positive associations help and here are some tips my clients have found successful:
- If you have a buddy you go shopping with, train with, spend some social time with, use the “buddy system” to encourage one another to make positive choices.
- Befriend someone who has been through your struggles, and who has kept the weight off successfully.
- Hook up with a regular, trustworthy gym buddy or personal trainer, so you get in regular physical activity.
- Sign up with an established online forum or a Facebook group geared to fat loss, muscle gain, or whatever your goal is.
- Use social media (e.g., Facebook) to announce to your closest friends that you have a big fitness goal.
- Enlist the help of an online “diet coach”: an objective, fair, and encouraging one-on-one private coach that can help (and is paid) to make sure you reach your goals and keep you accountable. I do this (sumi@shailafitness.com)
And so, why bother making your goals “public knowledge”? Why not just single handedly stick to your guns, assuming you have some sort of super human discipline and willpower?
Because people do not make choices in a vacuum.
Reminders to eat and indulge are everywhere: from the TV commercials to the magazines, the candy at the checkout, to oversized portions at the restaurant, to the billboards with yummy milkshakes, to the donut shop you drive by: the temptations are enormous.
People are often steered into making poor decisions, and by the time they learn to make better choices it’s often too late. And if you’re coming home to an unsupportive family situation, or a situation at work with coworkers who are saboteurs, your challenges of sticking to a diet can be overwhelming.
Finding a network where you feel plugged in and supported are priceless. And if nothing else, it’s nice to know you’re not in it alone. If you’ve hit a diet plateau, or feel like you might need an additional boost, exploring the options above will likely take you closer to your goal.
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